Many people are walking around with heavy loads. After all the sufferings of the Jewish people, the mental angush shebe mental anguish has taken its toll – each generation reeling from the pain internalized by the previous generation and then suffering its own pain. And yet, here we stand. How can we understand that under all the layers of pain, there exists a pure compassionate neshama that has not been damaged by even one iota? And how can we bring it from where it is buried underneath our emotions and learned experiences?
The nefesh elokis, the divinely created soul, cannot be damaged because it has a function that is Infinite. Only a portion of the soul enters the body. Two levels – chaya and yechida, remain pristine, in a state of emunah and taanug, delighting in Hashem. The neshama, the ruach and the nefesh enter into the realm of the physical, where free will and our inner drive for pleasure confuse things tremendously, diverting us from the joy and simple pleasure of faith.
We have faith in Hashem. Part of that faith must include faith that He knows what He is doing when He designs our soul, that our soul is something through which He may draw His Infinite Light from the tohu and vohu of this world back to Him through our submission of our natural interpretations.
What this means is that, although it might feel like fiery coals when we do it, when we know Hashem is all loving and He is doing everything, the part of our soul that became snared in negativity due to the natural development of the intellect in a body IS PURE, not damaged, and we can tell Hashem that we want to not want that handshake! When we recognize it is He Who is concealed, we pray to Him and tell Him that we want to go above our natural will, that we want to not want the bond with negativity. Shower the force in it with compassion and then tell Hashem that we desire to move that part of our soul from the negativity into a mitzvah that will give His Compassion the voice and expression to be revealed light in this world.
The amygdela is like a heavy barrier that keeps us focused on the negativity, spiraling between lack and feeling the impact on our self-image. However, the truer reality is that Hashem is doing everything, loves us, and is giving us an opportunity to use real free will to have awe in Him and how He has created us to serve as a channel for the hidden sparks in tohu and vohu to return to Him. How?
When we submit our interpretations – our negative messages – knowing that there is no other Power, and we sincerely want to be compassionate as He is, the bond of our soul with negativity erodes and He delivers us from the chaos to calmness.
Awe of Hashem is constructive. The negativity of the zuhamatic projections is NOT awe of Hashem. Hashem is all loving. we can take back the soul that got hooked into negative patterns. Confess, shower the force with compassion and ask to go above our natural state in order to do mitzvahs. move to do the mitzvah. Hold steady as a barrage of negative downward pulls tries to pull the soul back into the despair (so the natural forces can receive nurture from our soul.) Instead, cling to Hashem, love Him, have enough awe and fear to know that we do not want to go with our negativity, despite how powerful it may feel to “win.”
May our recognition of the Shechina in exile within our subconscious give us the objectivity to hold steady and return to Him what is captive, and may it come back into the world through our mitzvahs as a new light.